Where has time gone?

It seemed like it was yesterday that I opened my mission call. and look at me now, only 8 more days till I get to go on my mission! 

This past Sunday was my farewell. I had been waiting for that moment for a while now. I remember always going to my friend's farewells and always thinking "I wonder when mine's going to be." Didn't take too long. 

I hadn't been as nervous as i was, right before i gave my talk in a long time. 

Seen my close friends and my family right below me, in the first two rows, made me feel so happy and knowing that they were there supporting me definitely helped me calm down, but it didn't help calm down the tears that's for sure. 

It still hasn't hit me that i'm leaving. It seems like i'm going on a vacation for a short period of time, instead of going away for a  whole year and a half! 

[[how could i not be exited? look at this place! BEAUTIFUL]] 

"I am thoroughly terrified and tingling with excitement" This quote describes my feelings perfectly. 

Am I exited? You betcha!

Am I ready? Idk if i'll ever be.

Am I scared? I can't say that I'm not.

but nevertheless, knowing that this is what I need to be doing with my life, with not one single doubt in my mind, sure helps me feel comforted.   

let the count down begin. 

 

HAWAII HONOLULU

On Wednesday[[ March 24th]] I had the opportunity to finally receive my mission call!!
I sort of had an idea that it was coming that day, so I literary waited outside my house for the mail man! 
Mission calls are my FAVORITE!! I get oh, so exited when I hear that someone is receiving theirs, so to know that I'm about to get my own. That's just too much excitement for one person.
Seeing the package in which my call was in, brought me soooo much joy, I can't even explain! I was jumping and screaming for about 10 minutes straight! I could not wait to open it! 

I had all my close friends come over to my backyard at 7:30 so that I could open and share this experience with them! 
A couple minutes before the big moment, I went into my room knelled down and prayed to my Heavenly Father. I prayed to thank him for the opportunity I was about to experience and to express my gratitude towards the Gospel. I also asked Him to confirm to me that whatever place I was sent to go, was where He wanted me to be. 

As I was opening the package, I read the first sentence "Dear Sister Cavalcante:" and tears started falling  down my face. I thought that for sure it would have waited a little longer, but nope I just couldn't help it, but I got myself to stop tearing up for a little and proceeded to read. 

You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the HAWAII Honolulu Mission. Spanish Speaking. 

Could you say, BEST MISSION?? I think YES! I could not have been sent to a more perfect place. This is a dream mission!

I am so beyond exited to serve the Lord. Dedicate a year and a half of my life to help this gospel grow and make other people happy. 

I KNOW that this is what I need to be doing with my life. I KNOW that Hawaii is where i'm suppose to be in the next year and a half. I KNOW that Heavenly Father is so proud of me right now. I am so grateful for this gospel. I am truly happy because of it.

and here's the video of me opening my call, enjoy ;)

Nights like theses.

Its been what FOUR weeks? Yes four whole weeks since I have submitted my mission papers. That's a looonnng time you guys! and of course this would happen to me! I swear everyone else's have came in like a week or two. But it's okay because on Sunday my bishop said that they have already been assigned, and he is pretty sure it'll be coming this week. I'm really hoping tomorrow!! 

Ah I cannot explain how exited I am. every time someone hears about how i'm going on a mission they ask "are you nervous?" my answer is always "nope, just way exited!" I can't wait to find out where i'll be serving the lord for the next 18 months of my life. It'll be such an amazing life changing experience.

While I waited and waited every week checking the mail for my mission papers to arrive, a million thoughts would come to my mind. I kid you not, I have never been so confused and lost in my whole life, like i have been in the past four weeks.

Why? I'm not quite sure.
I kept asking myself question about what I want in my life.
Am I doing the right thing by going on a mission?
Is this what a really want? or what I should be doing..
Should i stick with my goals, or just quit on them?
Does any of this even matter?
Why do I feel so confused? 
So lost...

I can't help but think that Satan is trying SO hard to keep me off track. 

It's tough when you feel like you're the only one that doesn't "fit in" 
When you feel like you have to change yourself to "look cool"
When you feel lonely..
When you doubt where you stand.

But the thing is, I don't want to have to change myself. I like who I am. I am proud of myself. 
I know what I want in life, what I should be doing.

I'm not lost, I have everything I need right here with me: family, friends, this amazing gospel.
It's just hard, really hard to remember that at times.

Nights like these, where I think about everything and everyone and cry myself to sleep are the worst kind. It's when I feel the most lonely and most forgotten. 

"It's nights like these that make me sleep all dayIt's nights like these that make you feel so far awayIt's nights like these when nothing is for sure"

But it's nights like these that make me the strongest.

looking back

Why am I so bad at keeping promises to myself?
I feel like such a quitter.
I swear there is not one thing that I've started and finished  it all the way.
I started with piano lessons, then quit.
Played soccer for a year, and quit.
Did track my Junior year and quit half way.
Told myself that i'd never do "this and that" and ended up doing it.
and many more things....

Like... what's wrong with me?
Can someone slap me, hard.[[right now!?]]

I hate that about myself!
I either quit, or if I do keep going I don't give my all.
If there was one thing that I could change about myself in a snap of a finger, that would definitely be it!
I know that I could change, but it's hard; It doesn't just happen from night to day. Obviously.

It honestly sucks to look back and think about how many things I could have accomplished in my life.
It's pretty depressing at times.

Thank goodness for that ^^^

Favorite Girl - The Icarus

This song has been on replay for the past couple of days. all day errry day.Its one of my favorites now. 

love love love it! 

Everyone go listen to it. NOW!

I don't mind it.

I've been so busy lately. busy enough that i don't even really have time to blog.
School is slowly taking over my life, and to be honest I don't even mind it.
One thing that I have been able to learn about myself is that I actually enjoy school!
Call me crazy, but learning is bomb.
Getting A's is the best feeling. {got 93% on my political science midterm and 95% on my math. Can I get a halllaaaa}
Also, i'm actually pretty good at math. I haven'tgot less than a 90% on a test in the past two years of college, and I get the material pretty well. 
Like WHO AM I? will someone tell me? cause I don't even know anymore. 
If any of my close friends read this post they'd be like "say whaaa. Karen shut up, you're kidding right? hahah"
I even chose school over Vegas! WHO DOES THAT?? no one, but me. That's my guess.
I can't stand the thought of missing school, missing out on the material that it's going to be taught,it drives me NUTS!

I like this 'new self' that I have become, or am still becoming.
I don't mind it, not one bit!

Now, i'm not all of a sedan this big nerd, nor am I this super smart chick, nope. 
I've always cared about my grades, school attendance etc. I've just never really done anything about it, except for now.
I have finally been able to manage what I do with my time. That's something I could NOT do.
I really am maturing. 
I'm taking all of this as part of growing up; I mean it must be!

At least later on, I'll be able to look back and see how well I did in college, and be proud of myself. 
That's a good thing right?

DUH!

as of late

I have been such a bad blogger, i'm sorry you guys.
Won't happen ever again, maybe..
Les hope.

Before I start on this post, I'd like to give a S/O to LIFE for treating me so well lately.
I could not be more greatful for evertyhing that has been going on.
I've been so happy, and feeling so good. at all time, basically.
Surprinsily
Why do I say that, you ask? because I feel like things never really go MY way. It's always what others want, how they want..
But not this time.

Now, I'm not saying that things are neceseraly only going my way, I'm not that selfish, or selfish at all.
But everything just seems to be happening really smoothly and at the perfect times. so therefore, I'm really happy about that!!

Valenine's day

 {dinner with the girls}

 G-Eazy 2/27/13

 {one of the best concerts i'e been to}

Ready to kidnap Karla

Lake visits

Caught this mofo for din-din

{jk, i didnt eat it, its very much alive}

Letters from this handsome missionary

 {they always make my days better, miss him}

Partyyy time

Nick and I

 {lunch dates with him are the best. love this kid}

The weather>>>

 {its been pretty warm lately and I LOVE it}

Snapchatsss

{jon doe, no one can make me laugh more than this kid right here.}

For kicks and giggles

{this made me all awe}

Not to mention that tomorrow is the beginning of spring break && i'm going to St. Geezy for Macklemore with the girls on the weekend.. can life get any better right now?! 

well, I hope everyone has a fantastic spring breal; don't get too crunk or do whatever ;)