Ah I cannot explain how exited I am. every time someone hears about how i'm going on a mission they ask "are you nervous?" my answer is always "nope, just way exited!" I can't wait to find out where i'll be serving the lord for the next 18 months of my life. It'll be such an amazing life changing experience.
While I waited and waited every week checking the mail for my mission papers to arrive, a million thoughts would come to my mind. I kid you not, I have never been so confused and lost in my whole life, like i have been in the past four weeks.
Why? I'm not quite sure.
I kept asking myself question about what I want in my life.
Am I doing the right thing by going on a mission?
Is this what a really want? or what I should be doing..
Should i stick with my goals, or just quit on them?
Does any of this even matter?
Why do I feel so confused?
So lost...
I can't help but think that Satan is trying SO hard to keep me off track.
It's tough when you feel like you're the only one that doesn't "fit in"
When you feel like you have to change yourself to "look cool"
When you feel lonely..
When you doubt where you stand.
But the thing is, I don't want to have to change myself. I like who I am. I am proud of myself.
I know what I want in life, what I should be doing.
I'm not lost, I have everything I need right here with me: family, friends, this amazing gospel.
It's just hard, really hard to remember that at times.
Nights like these, where I think about everything and everyone and cry myself to sleep are the worst kind. It's when I feel the most lonely and most forgotten.
"It's nights like these that make me sleep all dayIt's nights like these that make you feel so far awayIt's nights like these when nothing is for sure"
But it's nights like these that make me the strongest.
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