On Wednesday[[ March 24th]] I had the opportunity to finally receive my mission call!!
I sort of had an idea that it was coming that day, so I literary waited outside my house for the mail man!
Mission calls are my FAVORITE!! I get oh, so exited when I hear that someone is receiving theirs, so to know that I'm about to get my own. That's just too much excitement for one person.
Seeing the package in which my call was in, brought me soooo much joy, I can't even explain! I was jumping and screaming for about 10 minutes straight! I could not wait to open it!
I had all my close friends come over to my backyard at 7:30 so that I could open and share this experience with them!
A couple minutes before the big moment, I went into my room knelled down and prayed to my Heavenly Father. I prayed to thank him for the opportunity I was about to experience and to express my gratitude towards the Gospel. I also asked Him to confirm to me that whatever place I was sent to go, was where He wanted me to be.
As I was opening the package, I read the first sentence "Dear Sister Cavalcante:" and tears started falling down my face. I thought that for sure it would have waited a little longer, but nope I just couldn't help it, but I got myself to stop tearing up for a little and proceeded to read.
You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the HAWAII Honolulu Mission. Spanish Speaking.
Could you say, BEST MISSION?? I think YES! I could not have been sent to a more perfect place. This is a dream mission!
I am so beyond exited to serve the Lord. Dedicate a year and a half of my life to help this gospel grow and make other people happy.
I KNOW that this is what I need to be doing with my life. I KNOW that Hawaii is where i'm suppose to be in the next year and a half. I KNOW that Heavenly Father is so proud of me right now. I am so grateful for this gospel. I am truly happy because of it.
and here's the video of me opening my call, enjoy ;)
Its been what FOUR weeks? Yes four whole weeks since I have submitted my mission papers. That's a looonnng time you guys! and of course this would happen to me! I swear everyone else's have came in like a week or two. But it's okay because on Sunday my bishop said that they have already been assigned, and he is pretty sure it'll be coming this week. I'm really hoping tomorrow!!
Ah I cannot explain how exited I am. every time someone hears about how i'm going on a mission they ask "are you nervous?" my answer is always "nope, just way exited!" I can't wait to find out where i'll be serving the lord for the next 18 months of my life. It'll be such an amazing life changing experience.
While I waited and waited every week checking the mail for my mission papers to arrive, a million thoughts would come to my mind. I kid you not, I have never been so confused and lost in my whole life, like i have been in the past four weeks.
Why? I'm not quite sure.
I kept asking myself question about what I want in my life.
Am I doing the right thing by going on a mission?
Is this what a really want? or what I should be doing..
Should i stick with my goals, or just quit on them?
Does any of this even matter?
Why do I feel so confused?
So lost...
I can't help but think that Satan is trying SO hard to keep me off track.
It's tough when you feel like you're the only one that doesn't "fit in"
When you feel like you have to change yourself to "look cool"
When you feel lonely..
When you doubt where you stand.
But the thing is, I don't want to have to change myself. I like who I am. I am proud of myself.
I know what I want in life, what I should be doing.
I'm not lost, I have everything I need right here with me: family, friends, this amazing gospel.
It's just hard, really hard to remember that at times.
Nights like these, where I think about everything and everyone and cry myself to sleep are the worst kind. It's when I feel the most lonely and most forgotten.
"It's nights like these that make me sleep all dayIt's nights like these that make you feel so far awayIt's nights like these when nothing is for sure"
But it's nights like these that make me the strongest.
Why am I so bad at keeping promises to myself?
I feel like such a quitter.
I swear there is not one thing that I've started and finished it all the way.
I started with piano lessons, then quit.
Played soccer for a year, and quit.
Did track my Junior year and quit half way.
Told myself that i'd never do "this and that" and ended up doing it.
and many more things....
Like... what's wrong with me?
Can someone slap me, hard.[[right now!?]]
I hate that about myself!
I either quit, or if I do keep going I don't give my all.
If there was one thing that I could change about myself in a snap of a finger, that would definitely be it!
I know that I could change, but it's hard; It doesn't just happen from night to day. Obviously.
It honestly sucks to look back and think about how many things I could have accomplished in my life.
It's pretty depressing at times.
Thank goodness for that ^^^
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